He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
