this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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