My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
