Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
