somebody snuck up and got me drunk
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
