Small penises have feelings too.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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