cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
