My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
