Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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