eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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