Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
