4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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