remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
