All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
