brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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