just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
