hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
