Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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