I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
