What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize