you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize