I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
