i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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