I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize