try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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