Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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