I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
