Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Will you blow on my dice?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
