I accidentally had phone sex last night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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