I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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