hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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