That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
