worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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