I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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