you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
