Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
