I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
