you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
