Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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