I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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