i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
