It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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