Having a random hookup so left but love u
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
