he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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