I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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