I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
