hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize