Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
