Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
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i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize