So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
