Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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