First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
