Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
