I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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