Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
