I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
PANTIES FOUND
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