which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i think my cat just said my name.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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