just tell him i said nine months
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
