Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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