I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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