Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
