If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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